06.26.08

Marriage Vows

Posted in Uncategorized at 7:18 pm by Administrator

Another great article we want to share with you! Here’s the website for more info on the Marriage Vow Workbook: http://www.marriagevowworkbook.com/

To fully experience the benefits of having marriage vows, you need to stay connected to them. In The Marriage Vow Workbook and our relationship coaching, we help couples design a ritual they will use to reconnect with their intentions, their inner wisdom, and their partner. Below are several tips you can use in creating your own marriage vow support system. . .whether your wedding is yet to happen, is just past, or happened years ago.

• Review your vows at least monthly.

• Read them aloud to each other, taking time to look into your partner’s eyes. This can be one of the most connecting and loving actions you take with each other.

• Remind yourself that the vows you wrote are as much for your benefit as they are for your partner’s. They are reminders of how you want to be in this relationship.

• Make recommitting to your vows part of a larger relationship-deepening practice.

• Keep your vows visible. Both of us have copies in our day-planners. We had our original relationship commitments (the vows we created when we were dating) printed in calligraphy onto poster board. They are now displayed prominently in our bedroom.

• Acknowledge yourself for having fulfilled your vows as best you could. Even if you’ve fallen short of your commitments, give yourself credit for what you have done.

• Be gentle with each other as you use your vows to strengthen your marriage.

• Remember to bring love and compassion into the process along with your introspection and honesty.

• Recognize that revisiting and recommitting to your vows is not about being “right” or “wrong.” It is simply an opportunity to check in and see if you’re fulfilling the promises you made on your wedding day and to change course if you’ve strayed from your intention.

We have revisited our vows at least monthly since we married on May 30, 1999. Our reconnection ritual is one of our favorite times as it fully connects us to the same depth and intensity of love that we felt on our wedding day.

It’s as if we return to the honeymoon stage of our relationship every time we recite our vows. We know that writing our own vows and revisiting them on a regular basis has helped us create one of the most solid and loving relationships we know. We want you, and all couples, to enjoy such a relationship.

© 2006, Shonnie Lavender and Bruce Mulkey

Shonnie Lavender and Bruce Mulkey are the authors of I Do! I Do! The Marriage Vow Workbook, a step-by-step resource for creating wedding vows that are uniquely yours. They offer additional no-nonsense resources for creating ideal relationships, including tips for a successful wedding and marriage, personal samples of wedding vows, and the I Do! I Do! podcast.

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